My Birthright

Brian, one of the apprentices, has been flowing his fears around having a family. He says as he flowed, he felt this great sense of empowerment--this feeling that his very nature is to be in a family. It is not something he has to struggle to be--it is who he is. It is his birthright.

Like someone who suddenly discovers that he is of royal blood, or there is a great treasure within his own home, a light that has always been buried inside.

Kris smiles to himself and says that Brian is absolutely right. "That is who you are. Who you have always been. It is just been clouded over. You just have denied it, resisted it. Welcome in who you really are."

"Say Yes"

We are traveling up the Belize river in a small motor boat. There are 40 of us in the boat, packed in tight, like sardines. The snakelike river seeps slowly into our Souls. I am carrying a burden, the weight of all these fears--money worries, work worries, relationship worries, worry worries. All of it a burden, weighing my soul down.

"Maybe my relationship will fall apart," I think. "Maybe I'll go broke," I think. "Maybe I'll get fired," I think.

All of these worries on an endless loop in my mind. The record player of misery. And today's number one song, "Everybody thinks you are a failure."

Wow--it's no wonder I feel unhappy.

I take a deep breath in. I begin to set my intent for traveling on this journey, this dream cruise, so far from home. "Dream cruise," I think to myself, "so far it's been a nightmare for me."

But what really is the problem.

Another deep breath in. I go back to my intent. Within my own mind I say, "I intend to live my highest Self." Again and again. I keep repeating those words in my mind. Like a mantra. It pulls me in. I feel the energy of that intent. It pulls me in deeper into my Soul, just as this river leads us deeper into the heart of Belize.

It's hot. I am sweating. The winds feels so good on my face. I love the feel of being out in the water.

I breath in again.

I hear the voice, the still small voice within, "Say Yes."

My body relaxes. I say, "Yes."

I repeat the word, "Yes" and it goes deeper into my body, into my heart, into my mind.

I say "Yes" to all my fears. I allow them all in. I surrender my resistance. I breathe them into my body deeply, as I breathe this thick air in deeply.

"Yes."
"Yes."
"Yes."

The fears around money--"Yes".
The fears around relationship--"Yes".
The fears around work--"Yes".
The fears around spiritual life--"Yes".

All of it.

All of my life.

"Yes."
"Yes."
"Yes."

I feel as if I am being hypnotized. Deeper and deeper. Mesmerized. "Yes", softly now, as the boat slows, and the water ripples. "Yes", as the wind touches my face like a symphony on my skin. "Yes", as the wind flows onward into the reeds on shore of the river with a sound so beautiful that my whole soul lights up. "Yes", as the white crane flies so close to my body that I can feel the flap of its wing as it passes. "Yes" to the sound of the monkey's cry. "Yes" to the boat, to the river, to all the souls with me. "Yes" to my life, to this world, to everything passing by.

"Yes" I say, and suddenly I realize that I am in love with my life. I am in love with this moment and all that it holds. There is nothing lacking. Sitting on this river. In this boat. In this sun. With sweat dripping off my body. I am in love with my life. My life is overflowing. There is more joy in it than I realized. I have the relationship I always desired and more. I love my work. I am surrounded by loving friends. It is all here. It is all now. I was simply blinded by my fears. Consumed by the same old songs, the same old stories, the same old words.

As I allowed them in, as I surrendered to them, my life unfolded at my feet in the grandest majesty.

Wounded Deer

It's not just the way
you were clipped
by the oncoming car
before the beginning of the hunt.

It's not just your eyes
melting, merging into mine
moments before.

It's not just the silence
the deep woods, the whispers
that come into your dreams.

It's the way,
even in your wounding,
you still come close
longing to be touched,
welcoming all past disaster
into your heart.

The Mysteries

They don't come,
dressed as ghosts
with the whirl of thunder,
drumbeats, feathers, prayers...

They don't come
with ritual and ceremony
to the sleeping room
of the screaming child.

There is no one left
to pull the child out
into the world.

No. Not now.

The mysteries
are just a subtle knocking
on the walls of the psyche
echoing deep
into the still lake of your heart.

God is calling

All the doors must be opened
and the shadow of Self
revealed.

Coba

We are gathered
on the pyramid,
at the temple.

We merge into
the rocks,
into the stones.

Deeper and deeper,

Till time slows.

The wind passes.
Ages and ages
roll over the earth,
over my body.

From one tree to the next
ages and ages
roll over the earth
over my body.

Till all is enveloped
back in silence.

The leaf falls
for an hour at a time,
slowly dancing to the earth.

Humanity rushes back and forth
back and forth
back and forth
against these stones,
waves crashing upon the shore.

Each time a different name,
a different face,
but always the expression
of the one Soul,
the one Time.

In that time,
all problems,
all challenges,
all beliefs
all ideas,
are not.

Only the sound of that acorn,
breaking from branch
to branch
to branch
is...

Red Shirt, Blue Jeans

Red Shirt,
Blue Jeans,
Dark Skin,
Curves...

She stumbles over her coffee,
as she rushes back to her people.

But for just one moment,
just one moment,
before our lives part back
into their separate corners
of eternity,

Our eyes meet.
And she smiles.

That God could make something
so beautiful...

The Dream

"My life is my prayer."


Part 1: The Prayer at Dawn

Have you ever felt that you were living your destiny? Have you ever felt that your life has become the most beautiful dream? That you live each and every day, each and every moment in a communion with your Soul?

That is my life now.

My life is my creation. My life is my piece of art. And it is beautiful.

I awake early in the morning, in my home (is there any word more beautiful in the english language--home). I walk to the Veranda, where I write. As I pass through the halls of my home, I see mementos, reminders of the treasure that is my life. Images of my life, of my wife, my family, my friends, the beautiful life that I have created. Pictures of the places we've been, the people we've known. Pictures of my ohana. Pictures of my children. In each one I see my love reflected back to me.

I have allowed all of this to be in my life. And I am so deeply grateful.

The sun is just beginning to rise over the ocean, as I sit down at my desk to write. The silence is broken only by the soft sound of the wind, and the quiet murmur of the early morning sea. "Low tide", I smile to myself.

I love this time of day. It is the best time to write. "The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you." I can feel the source of my life, of my dream run through me, thick, like slow moving sap. I am working on a new book. I have been working with K2 on creating a new mythology, a new vision of what humanity can be, a new path to discovering and living your source.

Needless to say, the work has been received well. The public devoured it like a pack of hungry wolves. When the soul recognizes truth, it can't hep but become enraptured, enchanted.

And in this early morning hour, my soul is enraptured, enchanted, totally in love with life. And I say my first prayer to creation, and it comes from my true heart, and it is a prayer of gratitude to the Creator, for giving me this life, for bringing all of this love, this endless sea of Light and Love into my life.

Part 2: The Prayer at Noon

I break for lunch. I have been writing all morning. I am tired from the work, but there is a strange excitement within me. There is something magical about watching a story unfold beneath you, the journey appears, step by step, as if of its own power.

I sit down with my wife and children. There is such happiness here for me. Even a small meal becomes a feast when seen from the eyes of love. I feast upon my life. I devour it with all of my being.

To think, there was a time that I could imagine my life without this woman. That there was a time when she was not as real to me as the sunlight, or the rain. When she was just a quiet urging within my Soul.

Now she is like this tropical air to me. Gentle, sweet, life giving. Sometimes I think she is the reason that I am.

And I have allowed her to be in my life.

And I am so grateful.

A life without love is hardly a life at all, it is just the burnt out remains, the empty shards, nothing but ash. But my life is not ash, it is vibrant, it is glowing, it is life giving. It is this midday sun, illuminating the world around me.

And I say my second prayer to Creation, and it is a prayer of love, the type of love that grows, that overflows with life, that supports all that come into contact with it, the type of love that expands, and feeds humanity, and feeds our Souls. Thank you for this life, for this love, for this woman.

Part 3: The Prayer at Midafternoon

(one part left to write...my purpose...why is that the hardest part).


Part 4: The Prayer at Evening

My children are playing on the shore. They are running up and down, throwing rocks in the sea, smiling and laughing.

I run with them. I smile with them. I laugh with them.

It has been one of the deepest pleasures of my life to watch them come into being, to watch them slowly grow into themselves. I never knew that a person could love the way I love my children, the way I long for them to be so deeply well, no matter where they go, no matter what they do. I never knew I, who had been so selfish, could find a part within myself that was so selfless, that was willing to give as much as I could to support their growing lives.

We are splashing the water.

The sun is beginning to set over the mountains. The water captures the light and holds on to it, I know the light will fade. In that light I see the wonder of my life, growing, and fading. There is a part of me that wishes I could hold on to this time, to this place, this moment, forever.

The golden hour.


Part 5: The Prayer at Night

And so the day has passed and night has come. It is all still and quiet again. The children are asleep. My wife is getting ready for sleep. And I am about ready to go too. Such a day.

I look up into the vast night sky. The moon is rising, and in its light, I see my Soul reflected back to me. I feel so deeply fulfilled. I know I am living my life. I know I am living from my Soul.

I never quite knew this was possible. Yet here it is. Here it is. And anyone can have it. I am so grateful to my Self for allowing all this in. I remember all the hours of hard work, all the sweat, all the pain, all the tears. I look back at the whole of my journey, and from this vista I smile. What a life. I see all the faces, all the love, all the people, all the places. I have filled my life to the brim, and now my heart is overflowing. Who knew life could be so beautiful. Who knew life could be so meaningful.

"This is it" I think to myself, "I am living my purpose. I am living the life I was set out for." I am living it. It is here and now. Wonder of wonders.

And I say my final prayer to creation, it is a prayer to my Soul, to my God, to my wife, to my children, and to all the beings, seen and unseen that have helped me on my path, my Ohana, K2, the collective.

I feel this joy beyond joy, deeper than joy, I know I have fulfilled my mission, my purpose. I know that my life has had real meaning, that it has had significance, that I have impacted this world in a positive way, that I have brought my light, my love, my Soul out into this world. I have expressed the depth of who I am.